Office Haiku By Category

'The Boss'
Machines
Personnel
General

Other Office Diversions

Artificial Instant Messenges
Ten Reasons Why
Office Links

Can't Get Enough Haiku

Haikus for Jews
Redneck Haiku
Honku
Cat Haiku
Gay Haiku

Office Reading

Since The Layoffs: A Novel
A Working Stiff's Manifesto:
Dilbert - The Complete Series
Honku : The Zen Antidote to Road Rage

Movies To Watch

Office Space
Haiku Tunnel
Modern Times

Not An Office Supply List

Ten Best Ways to Enjoy Your Holiday Bonus

10. Have a nice dinner out-- At McDonalds.
9. Shop for new cothes-- at Salvation Army.
8. Go out drinking with your friends: brown bag a forty-once malt liquor
7. Buy your girlfriend jewelry from the Grocery store quarter machine
6. Redocrate a room in your house-- take the couch your neighbors threw away and buy an air freshener
5. Get your car washed-- in the rain.
4. Go to a Broadway Show-- as the new cleaning crew
3. Get away for the weekend at your mother's house.
2. Get away for the weekend at your mother-in-laws house.
1. Buy postage for your resume.

Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Get a Job Instead of Going to Graduate School.

10. Monthly co-worker birthday cakes are a form of mind control
9. The more money you earn, the more you are expected to spend it on things like "appropriate office attire"
8. Hangovers don't qualify as sick days.
7. Commuting during rush hour traffic is sort of like an elephant screwing a zebra; (try making sense of that, and maybe you'll understand rush hour)
6. Fluorescent lights suck away your soul
5. Morning talk radio should never be a pre programmed channel on your car's stereo
4. Research is not the same thing as looking at pornography for three hours
3. After several hours in an office, you begin to let go, forget about your dreams, and start thinking about decorating your apartment with next season's line from pottery barn.
2. Like in high school, you are expected to get up early in the morning.
1. Increasing character spacing doesn't mean your work is "finished"

Ten Ways of Continuing the College Experience without Going to Graduate School

10. Buy a book of poetry and pretend to have read it cover to cover. Six times.
9. Visit a public toilet and ask the gent next to you to pass a roll of toilet paper.
8. Start every third sentence with, "according to Sartre"
7. Mispronounce Sartre
6. Watch the Adam West Batman at four a.m. and pretend it's a legitimate excuse to sleep until noon.
5. Borrow money from your parents
4. Drink Tequila, without a chaser
3. Ask random people if they know where you can 'score' weed.
2. Play Mario Kart until your thumb cramps
1. Think about where your life is going and still have hope you will accomplish your life dreams.