A Good Defense
Document shredder
loudly grinds all afternoon
no more evidence.
Routines
Read, write. Read, write. Bill.
Copy, paste. Copy, paste. Bill.
You’re a lawyer!
Revalue Your Value
Calculate the rate
the firm charges for your time
subtract what you earn
Valuable Employees
Bill extra hours
writing last minute motions.
No extra bonus.
Overworked and Underbilled
The in-house counsel
working a nine to five day,
earns the same amount
All in the Timing
Billing the hour
while thinking on the can–
double bill that time!
Hardly Working
The summer interns
eagerly do my grunt work.
None will get offers.
Getting Off
Legal services
with absurd hourly rates
helps boss avoid jail.
Early Dismissal
A brief due Friday
left for the first years to do
Partners leave early.
